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Why do we take so long before asking help?

As I reflect on the past and how I could have made things easier, I have to realize that one of my biggest problems was (and sometimes still is) the ability to ask for help. 

I got inspired to create a new series called The WHY series. I remember as a kid, I was always wondering “BUT WHY?”

Especially at church school, some of the stories didn’t make sense to me so I was asking “BUT WHY….?” And I often got the answer “because that’s how it is and stop questioning!”.

And the rebel in me simply wanted to question even more….

I often wish I would question less. It would be easier! But that’s who I am: I like to understand things. So the WHY series is a wink to my younger self.

It only makes sense that the first video is on ‘WHY do we take so long before asking for help?”

Have you ever realized that when you teach something to someone, you get triggered on that very specific topic?

It’s always like that and as a coach, I get triggered all the time. It’s a great opportunity to be clear about your level of integrity and make sure you “walk your talk”!

So, as I was getting ready to send you this video, a crazy storm hit Victoria. We were expecting some rain, but that was “next level”!
It started raining so much last week on Tuesday and by Wednesday it was crazy… We were flooded very quickly and my beautiful soon-to-be yoga studio had water coming through every walls.

1- Luckily the plasterers were still in it and they called me right away.
2- Luckily, we were in lockdown and my boys were there so we had more spare hands to dig.
3- And luckily, the floorboard was meant to be installed the day before and got moved to the day after, and therefore it was not damaged. 

We managed to create some tranches for the water to escape bypassing the newly freshly built studio. We pumped the water and broke a couple of fire pumps in the process (luckily we had 2)!
Seriously feeling so lucky and blessed, it could have been so much worst. 

And that night got scary… Trees were falling down, destroying fences (luckily none of the animal fencings was damaged), and blocking the road. Animals were agitated, scared.
The next day, the roads were flooded, trees had fallen everywhere. And we had no network and the community had no power (luckily we are off-grid and we had power).

The network came back on Saturday and the power yesterday. Some people still don’t have power and won’t for a while. We spent a week surrounded by generators songs (just to make it like it sounded ok).

It felt quite overwhelming to have so much to do on the land to get back to square one.
And after 3 days of working in the mud, I was quite keen to get my washing machine into action mode and she not only passed but also leaked through my laundry floorboard which was completely damaged.

And that’s when you know that all you can do is “laugh” at the situation (after a good cry) and pray… until…
You have enough energy to find plans B, C, and more…

There is NO WAY on earth I could have managed this on my own.
I have a small chainsaw and small arms to hold hit and there is not much I can really lift alone.
I had to ask for help and support. I needed help to fix the property, to cut the wood, and still need more to fix the laundry and get back to normal.

This reminds me of a story my great-grandma twin sisters told me. They were identical twin sisters and born blind.

They once told me that the best moment of their lives was during WWII, the community was helping each other with safe shelter, swapping food, supporting each other.
And because they could not see, they had developed other senses, and Oh Yes they could feel! And they felt so much love, care, support, and kindness through those horrifying times.
And that was their best life moment!

During those collective crises, asking for help is easier than when we have our own internal crisis or very personal problem. 

When I was going through some really tough times as a teenager, I recall trying to ‘suck it all in’ and ‘deal with it’. It was not very fashionable to get ‘emotional support’ in the ’90s and when I went through grief, depression, anxiety… There was not much to do about it. I don’t recall speaking about it to my friends either. This led me to feel suicidal for quite some time and finding peace in taking drugs. 

Years later, when I had my twins, I couldn’t ask friends to support me with food or ‘babies’ care so I could rest. I simply did it alone. I would definitely welcome support when it came, but would not dare to ask.

I have countless examples where I could have asked for support earlier on. And the decision (conscious or not) to not ask for help has had tremendous consequences on my health and wellbeing.
Hence, I have made this video for you and you can watch it below.


As a single mum, and now living on a large property with animals and lots of responsibility, I often wonder why we came to living so isolated.

Life would be so simpler if we had strong community support.

I came here, to nature, to be part of a community and I do feel closer to people living here than I ever felt living in cities (even though we spent most of our time here in lockdown). But there is always room for more connection, more sharing, more community support.

Asking for help may not feel comfortable but when you drop the ego that needs to have it all sorted all the time, you can see more clearly what would feel better.

Asking for support can start with asking for a chat, sharing how you feel, reflecting with someone on a situation, getting advice, and more.

I invite you to reflect on your life and ask yourself “where could I get more support?”.
Where could you dissolve challenges, blockages, arguments with others?

And if you feel stuck, lost, or anxious, please reach out, and let’s get you out of this. I support people to find a clear direction to a successful, joyful and purposeful life. If you wish to learn more about how I can support you, please respond to this email.

I hope this video will help you finding solutions to get closer to the best you.

Reward yourself for taking the time to connect with yourself.

Remember that everything starts from within and THE SHORTCUT TO SAVE THE PLANET IS TO LOVE YOURSELF!

Thank you so much for reading, watching & sharing with your loved ones. I would love to hear from you and thank you in advance for your comments.

Subscribe to my blog here and receive regular tips to live a successful, joyful & purposeful life and become the best version of yourself.

Bisous xx

 

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